One day when she was overtired and didn’t wanted to go to sleep at night we had the same scenario and I just threatened that I will take her to the shower (I thought she will fully wake up from it) and she stopped her tantrum right away. He wants to give us all we need to raise them well, discipline them well, love them well and He will. While the daily task may not appeal But then, I turned it around, and started asking him if he was sad. We don’t follow up with additional discipline unless the child then starts other undesirable behavior. One of the easiest ways to train yourself to have greater discipline is to mirror the examples of self-discipline in other people. He yells and hits when he doesn’t get whatever he wants when he asks for it . And why is that when we try to change our habits by either breaking bad habits or building good habits, we only follow through for so long before we give up and revert to our old ways?The biggest problem, especiall… And cut yourself some slack — you’re human. way that you can improve on the next project or attempt. Thank you thank you thank you! All the tools necessary to meet those expectations. But when your child blatantly rebels against a rule, I don’t see how positive redirection or the positive discipline works. She rolled her eyes and then asked “well then what do you do because I can’t have her acting this way in my pool the whole 10 mins” I was not sure what to do in the situation. We keep a watchful eye. If you’re not sure what self-discipline traits that other people have, it’s ok. Below are some additional reasons why self-discipline is so important to a well-lived life. I felt really bad for doing it, it was emotionally very hard. “Show me. They are all grown up now and not one of them ever were rebellious. We do this for everything: why we need sunblock, why we eat healthy balanced food, why we need to go to bed at a certain time, why we cant touch all the stuff in the shops, … Hi, I’m Kate. 9 Examples of Discipline. Discipline and punctuality are two most essential traits required in a professional to be successful. There has been a study on spanking. I don’t do it by hitting them, but in a bunch of different ways. There is r… Life can become difficult when there is no discipline especially for the believer. I just hope my mom is wrong, and he is not as stubborn as I am nor that he gives me three times the grief I gave her. Not a stick to hit with. My son is string-willed like his momma to say the least! When we’re out, if there are sweets or whatever, it’s a special treat. That was in the spring of 2011. This is of course my opinion, but it is an opinion based on experience. He just gets wired. Hitting is what one does when angry. Our life should be punctuated with discipline. if nothing else it mkes the other person feel better. Thank you!!! Of course, if they push you lead them the right way immediately, but for example, if child throws a toy, do you take it right away or do you say, we don’t throw, it can break, hurt…. Redirection is big from 12 – 18/20 months. […] “9 Examples of Positive Discipline,” from Modern Alternative Mama. I tried spanking – she’s to busy to notice; I tried hugging her and asking her to stop, saying that I love her and so on – she may even hit me if I’m trying to stop her from hitting things; explanation and conversation – DOESN’T WORK. Gratification delay is a key factor in success. Importance of Discipline#3: Setting a good example to others. Any advice on how to handle that type of situation? As you do, recognize yourself for each thing you do. I don’t know how you interpret this, but I don’t think that especially the last verse is talking about verbal instruction. that owuld be a 40 mile wasted trip and didn’t have the time or money for that. Take my hand and take me to it.” Then even if the words aren’t so clear, they have an opportunity to make themselves understood. LOL. If you do not conquer your self, you will be conquered by your self ~ Napoleon Hill . Leave me alone!” instead of hitting if someone is bugging him. Nature provides the best example of discipline in life. I want to be positive and loving and reinforcing. Becoming successful is not a big deal, what it exactly needs is the power of discipline. I really want to try this out and have been implimenting what is in your book but i cant get her to stop these behaviors. There are also some simple acts of discipline that you could practice in your daily life. Cleaning up is a fight and when I want to go somewhere and take the baby (11 months), I feel I give in just so I can do something. So we must first learn the lesson of discipline at home. 8 y/o him would be proud! It can be anything, either you commit to read books or complete a task in a timeline. I spank to train and discipline. We haven’t allowed anyone else to spank our child. His son grew up to be a cold hearted, cruel, merciless man, hated by his people. Thanks for sharing!!!! The issue also attracts significant attention from the public and the media. Day 1 and 2 went great. Then I’m able to sit at my desk and write for an hour. By Becky Getz April 24, 2019 June 21st, 2019 No Comments. She asked if I do timeouts yet and i explained that we do not take that approach. Then, if we’re faced with several options, we might say “Of these 10 options, you may choose x, y, or z” (whichever ones we are okay with them having). I go in and say good night to each alone and then Daddy goes in to do a final “tuck” and say good night, and then they are down. It wasn’t very often but it worked. If That verse is “not” talking about verbal instruction. Myself and my brother we spanked and raised in discipline. to the undisciplined, those who are successful don’t look at the daily task. And is seems in their 70s, my parents are STILL angry and I can’t figure it out. Pick a direction and start. hormones and cognitive functions are all connected to proper sleep. Just my two cents on spanking- if we have to instruct people on how far is to far, how much is to much before a child is injured it really just doesn’t seem like a good method of discipline. After the story, tuck them in, and leave. And if they do so then there are many people to help them out. We find a perfect discipline in natural phenomena, from heaven above to earth below everywhere discipline reigns supreme. If your toddler is playing with an object that could be dangerous, introduce another toy that will grab his attention.1 If that doesn’t work, take him to another room or go outside to divert his attention. There are NO perfect answers and it’s not easy. Obedience, co-operation avoidance of greed and selfishness, respect for elders, sense of service duty and responsibility are some of the major attributes of discipline which can be easily cultivated at a tender age. I guess the bottom line is that I don’t feel like I can call spanking ineffective or wrong when the Bible speaks so many times about not “sparing the rod.” Thoughts? Parents, teachers and elders have significant role to play. Anyone who thinks ANY way of parenting will spare you from any sort of tantrums/bad moods/etc. We refuse to do meds & I don’t think it’s bad enough where he needs them anyways. They’ll become calmer and want to spend more time with you, and they’ll listen because they love you and want to make you happy. I have tried several different things. For some reason when people set goals, they think that they I have a three year old boy and a four month old boy. 2. As you do, recognize yourself for each thing you do. Just as it takes time to build muscle, so does it take time to develop self-discipline. I do suggest that they do so, and try to explain how the other person is feeling. way to help develop the discipline needed to avoid the objects that are keeping I wonder why he laughs? I agree with most of what you said. When we discipline ourselves not only does our character grow […] He is obsessed! I guess as long as your children are well behaved your form of discipline is working just fine for you. Good luck! Sure, if you’re late enough, you may get fired, so there is some outside push there. A 6-year-old constantly gets out of bed because she has trouble tolerating boredom while she's trying to fall asleep. It teaches a person to be responsible and respectful. However — at this age, when they are runners, they just do not think and can get themselves into trouble easily, without meaning to. When I spank I explain why my son is being spanked, he gets a swat on the butt and a 2 minute time out. I appreciate your response and I hope you know I’m not trying to argue, just to speak to a different perspective! This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Come up with a plan together. So this shows me that even speaking words or repentance to someone will bring life to the situation, even if they don’t “feel” it in their spirits, they eventually will, and releasing the anger by way of repentance is a way to do this. For instance if you are out and there is a table full of sweets, or what they make for their own breakfasts, etc…, We talk a lot about healthy food choices all the time. Teeth hurting? Also coud you give me advice on how to handle when she runs off from me in a parking lot? their lives. I shared in another response that one of my kids is really resilient and is a true rock in a storm of chaos, and probably could “handle” being spanked (although has expressed to us previously “I don’t like being spanked. My goal is to teach you how to live your life free from Big Pharma, Big Food, and Big Government by learning about herbs, cooking, and sustainable practices. To be quiet when you ask (for good reason, like daddy worked all night and needs to sleep. We watch and encourage and teach children how not to stray. When understanding the uses of the rod/hook during Biblical times it helps one see how it better applies to raising children by GUIDING and PROTECTING them with the “rod” NOT striking them. This tells me that we need to learn from the mistakes of Solomon by following Jesus’ example, and not the example of a flawed father who physically abused his children and passed this lack of empathy down to his son. I’ve found I can’t motivate them to do something that they really don’t want to do by force. In nature all the planets move in their orbit; the seasons change in accordance with a set order, day and night follow each other at regular intervals, Man must take lessons from Nature. was HUGE in my family. This common tendency to ignore our faults is not the best. We sit with him sometimes but really want him to just go to bed on his own! The very purpose of the OT is not only to give valuable life insight, but also to convey the very deep love of God for His chosen people. What a lot of people say when they first hear about positive discipline is often something like “Okay, that sounds good in theory…but what does it look like in practice? As a Christian, I follow the New. I spend time sitting with them all and instructing on what to pick up and where to put it. And my third child, who has never been spanked, has *never* thrown a public tantrum. They look at the end result. Any ideas for dealing with my kids and other people, especially family members would be helpful. Avoiding shopping when he is hungry or tired if possible is also a good idea so you don’t set him up for a hard time. It does depend on the child, of course, as you point out! Your Priorities are Lined Up. An 8-year-old sneaks junk food the minute his parents are out of his sight. A lot of studies have measured the effects of this after the fact. The Old Testament is full of it, as is the New. Thanks!! The ability to get yourself up before work, get properly dressed, fed, exercised and out the door on time to get to work is a trait of self-discipline. Honestly this all sounds great! Discipline ensures individuals behave in an acceptable way at the workplace and also adhere to the rules and regulations of the organization. I don’t really know what else to do, any advice? Practice incorporating these things into your daily life. And just a question, what is your interpretation of these scriptures: Instead of “No worms in the house!” I say “Worms live outside, please take them there.”  It’s a clear instruction and tells them what to do. What do you do when he throws? An example given on a personal success blog: if you want to Right now my eldest got a bad habit from someone…. I actually kind of think spanking is irrelevant. I don’t want this to be a problem when we are out and I ask her to come to me if she wanders too far away or something like that. Thank you so much for this, Kate. I am writing this to provide one example of what works for us. This post has some good ideas and advice about how to use it with your kids. Discipline brings stability and structure into a person’s life. As a personality feature, it isn’t something you are simply born with. is honesty. We make parenting an everything and everyday process. I kept telling myself that as long as I remained calm and didn’t give into her demands and instead ignore them the behavior would naturally cease. We talk about how unhealthy food, especially too much of it, can make you sick. It seems to me that these examples mostly deal with childishness rather than outright disobedience. For everyone who says “I was spanked, and I’m fine,” there is someone who isn’t. It hurt and made you feel sad. I felt very alone most of the time and I didn’t do a very good job at parenting my son. The rod was constantly in the shepherd’s hand as he walked in front of the sheep and led the way. I didn’t have a choice to come back. It wasn’t ever a pleasant experience to be sure, however I feel I had a healthy respect for both of my parents and what was expected of me. I’d be interested in examples of how you direct them to choose healthy foods. Redirection is great when it comes to smaller children and young toddlers. People who follow discipline in their life are more likely to make better decisions. In order to succeed a child needs: Nature is the best example of true discipline to all of us. Often, waiting for her to calm down after the promise of my “well deserved” and god sanctioned spanking made it all the worse. So how much discipline does it take to change your life in a significant and meaningful way? I came across your site while looking for direct examples oh how to on google. They don’t believe you won’t spank them again. Thank you in advance! It is especially tough because I work full time, and often not home when I need things done. Most of our spankings came from blatant disrespect or situations where safety was compromised. Hence, the value of discipline in academic cannot be overestimated. It cannot possibly cover all situations and will not work for all children. Joining us at the table is much better than sitting alone in the play room. They have strong emotions and they act on them without thinking. I love the idea of positive discipline and the idea of raising a critical thinker who acts because they do have their own moral compass. I’m just curious how you would handle something like this. Not pain or violence but a wake up call. We hardly have tantrums – if we do we talk him through what’s happening and he is fine. Student life is the seed-time of life. The importance of self discipline: Conclusion. If they don’t have the option of eating junk, they won’t eat junk. Not to mention that every kid’s going to react differently. My parents spanked my brother and me when we were small for major infractions, but not for every thing. Discipline and punctuality make you a confident professional. is going to take to meet the goal, until we are already in the middle of our He’s exhausted but just doesn’t want to go to bed. self-discipline to watch what you eat and drink in the first place. If he doesn’t he gets a hug and has to sit another 2 minutes. If someone is hurt, then we talk about how that person was hurt and suggest they say sorry/make them feel better. I like all of these – I think they are great! My kids never had tantrums in stores either. So to that end, I found this post extremely helpful! Even so, cleaning isn’t fun and kids drag their feet about it. It’s when they don’t feel so good that they have a short fuse and throw tantrums. So thanks and wish me luck!!! If a kid rode a bike without a helmet, the bike would be gone for awhile. It’s so hard to say, as a general recommendation, what is really good or bad. The hook was/is used to Guide and protect the flock not discipline or strike. Now at almost 4 he finally doesn’t really do it anymore, unless way overtired. The hubby is struggling too because when he was a kid it was explained to him why he was getting a spanking.So he tries that approach instead of just spanking like we’ve seen with other family members. 4. Our The discipline of law is the good man’s defense against the unjust actions of other men. Kicking walls, etc. He deserves that, and I agree with everything you said. At least until I say no, you may not have the blender…lol. Plan for something nice for yourself after bedtime, too, so you have something to look forward to and something keeping you feeling more positive. My oldest son would randomly just shove his brother when he was an infant (just about old enough to crawl/get into things). It’s hard, and sometimes my 5-year-old says “When I’m a grown up I’m going to eat junk and buy junk for my kids” and I just say “Okay, when you’re a grown up, you go ahead.” Most of the time she ‘gets it’ but hey…don’t we sometimes just want the junk too? Be clear about your expectations of yourself on ... Focus on one self-discipline skill at a time. My son does not spank bc he does either. You discipline yourself to go to the gym every day. I clean as I go. I definitely disagree with you on spanking (particularly in that there is a right and wrong way to do it), but I loved a lot of the ways you handled situations in this article. Alice Miller wrote a book “For your own good” that I would highly recommend to anyone afraid of spoiling a child if sparing a rod. We can’t know if everyone is doing it “right” or “wrong” but I do believe it *can* be done in love and be an effective means of discipline. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol. Or, bring snacks or a game along with you and stick him in the cart anyway and give him the snacks or game to keep him occupied. One of my kids has the ability to be calm in the center of a storm. We *all* have a short fuse when we don’t feel well. Your email address will not be published. What good is “sorry” if it’s said with anger and by a child who simply doesn’t mean it? I have never observed discipline working like you suy it does at your house. However my son is wonderful, better than most. And when I say spanking for a little one, I mean with a paint stick, and just a little tap so they know that you mean what you say. They will set goals in their personal and professional life and work to accomplish those goals. In the political sphere also, personal ambitions do come on the way and therefore they pose danger to the society. This is a great post. So today, I’m going to share with you several examples of positive discipline. I am not writing this so you will copy exactly what I do and hope it works for your family. That makes a big difference too. If they choose to make the mess, hold them to cleaning it up. Thank you for this wonderful article. The goal is the efficient use of time and this helps get the most out of time by setting limits to the time an activity can take. We need to become a motivation for everyone around us. Self-discipline allows you to reach your goals in a reasonable time frame and to live a more orderly and satisfying life. These are all basically good, logical consequences that I would use. So, we problem solve — hungry? That means you will require less mental energy to be self-discipline to work on it. There was an error submitting your subscription. It’s one thing to intellectually say “I don’t want to do this.”  It’s another thing to find yourself in the middle of a tough, frustrating situation and actually know what to do instead. Really God gives us the wisdom to effectively discipline each child in each situation, God knows our children’s hearts. They must be taught the benefits and importance of self-discipline in one’s life with examples. To get a bigger understanding of what self-discipline is, let’s look at some examples. Always talk to them first about it before you do it. https://news.utexas.edu/2016/04/25/risks-of-harm-from-spanking-confirmed-by-researchers I’ve had to constantly ask myself if I’m meeting her needs and if I need to approach her in a new way. About 1/2 the time he falls asleep quickly. Life is short and that takes way too much energy. it’s SO IMPORTANT they apologize when necessary, no exceptions. I don’t know how well a similar system would work being implemented now. A 4-year-old asks an adult for help, instead of retaliating aggressively when a peer takes her toy. For those of you wondering how in the world you can parent biblicaly without spanking I encourage you to read Heartfelt Discipline by Clay Clarkson. All our juniors look surprised at this speech ceremony and must be curiously awaiting your Fresher’s Party. It may not work for everyone, but it certainly works for us. Essay on Discipline in students life:- It is said that Discipline is an asset of life.Essay on Discipline is a common question in almost all class 10 or 12 board exams. 2. –Olivia, I have trouble getting my son to listen, follow the rules of the house, not to throw toys, not to hit etc but every time I try to get onto his level and talk to him he laughs and thinks everything I say is funny I need help. I left out the very important little word “not” in the second paragraph. It’s been an exercise in getting myself in order and I’m still very much a work in progress, too. They test you a lot. and right now she is i think exploring cause-and-effect to the max, because she loves to color…the walls. I have told them that they can talk with him, and do other things but no spanking or hitting. Well — there are no studies done on spanking while it is happening, no. My 21-month-old might wake up from a nap angry, but once I give him a snack he’s perfectly fine. 6 Key Examples of Self-Discipline in Your Personal Life. Sometimes I set a timer and say “Okay, we have 15 minutes to get all this clean, who can do it the fastest?”  Or possibly, “Once we are done cleaning, we can go eat lunch/take a walk/play a game.”  And you don’t do that activity until the cleaning is done. It’s simple — if you don’t take care of your things and respect my property (i.e. There are entire posts dedicated to exploring the use of the word, and it is about much older children (teens) and for specific situations, and refers to a figurative rod. blog points out that this may be a bit of a catch-22 as it already takes I wrote a bunch of posts about why we don’t want to spank anymore, moving towards positive discipline, and 9 examples of positive discipline. If they get up or get loud, walk them back to bed quietly and firmly over and over and say “It is bed time and you need to stay in your bed now.” If you want, you can try, some nights, offering a simple but fun activity in the morning, like walking to a nearby playground. For example, if you feel most energized in the afternoon each day, then it might be best to schedule your most challenging task at that time. This article is so one sided. It is the word “She’vet” in hebrew which literally means rod, staff, branch, offshoot, club, sceptre, tribe. For the tantrums based on understanding, I try to give them a way to make me understand. Rod StoneAuthor, I don’t mess around with safety. If you don’t spank…then what? However she still has not outgrown them and in fact they seem to be worse now that she’s older. 5. I was taught that and to this day always apologize when it’s needed. I practiced attachment parenting with her as an infant (even before I knew the things I was doing had a name) so naturally I liked the idea of disciplining through redirection, offering choices, labeling feelings, etc. If the Old Testament is flawed, then why did Jesus bother referencing it? Since they are older, I would sit down with them and lay it out: “We made mistakes. We sometimes point to times when we ate some things we shouldn’t have and how that made us feel. You discipline yourself to get ahead at work. When you discipline yourself to finish every single thing, you form a personality around it. I thought some people might be interested in the psychology of spanking and actual research. We have 3 boys (8, 5 & 14 months). Assure them you mean it and tell them you are sorry for having spanked (assuming that is what you want to say). Do pinching ” he has no other siblings to follow the rules are for helps tons fundamental... To proper sleep that toy is put up if a toddler hits me when I stopped until! Same ” or ” please dont throw your food on the other person is..: //modernalternativemama.com/2015/02/06/child-runs-street/ might be interested in behavior modification ; I lean more driving. Only spanked if they are older, I can ’ t have to spank to do that bathroom., democracy degenerates into monocracy examples of discipline in life social life becomes chaotic and anarchical mess, hold them to be about. The connection that they have a hard time identifying what elements make up.... 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